Today is National Thank a Mail Carrier Day, and the gremlins at OOPS—the courier service proudly owned and operated by gremlins—would like to take a moment to accept your gratitude. You’re welcome.
At OOPS, we believe delivery is about the journey, not the condition of the package when it arrives. Sure, some companies focus on “intact boxes” and “contents surviving transit,” but where’s the adventure in that?
Our mail carriers work tirelessly:
Drop-kicking parcels for maximum efficiency
Testing gravity from impressive heights
Occasionally mistaking the phrase “fragile” for “challenge accepted”
Navigating routes that may include cliffs, canals, and the open ocean
Is your package dented? That adds character. Smashed? We were testing the aerodynamics. Gnawed on? That’s basic Quality Control. Briefly (or permanently) submerged at sea? Complimentary maritime experience.
The gremlins of OOPS take immense pride in their service. Rain, snow, sleet, or mild apocalyptic conditions—your package will arrive. Possibly late. Possibly sideways. Possibly wrapped in seaweed.
But it will arrive. Eventually. We’re still waiting on a package we ordered in 1996, but we have been assured that it will arrive “any day now.”
They remain blissfully oblivious to the fact that this is not, strictly speaking, how delivery services are supposed to work.
So today, we encourage you to thank a mail carrier. Especially an OOPS mail carrier. They’ve hauled your parcel across rooftops, through alleys, and once accidentally into a volcano (long story). They did their best. Probably. If your package from another delivery service shows as animal interference?
Likelihood is that it got misrouted via OOPS and may or may not be missing. Or on its way to Manhattan.
From all of us at OOPS: thank you for your patience, your understanding, and your willingness to sign for a box that rattles ominously.
Delivery complete. Mostly.
